3:48PM - mah poem (fiber)

I luv 2 eat fiber & wheat
it makes me feel neat
it helps me beat the heat!
(and my meat!)

Fiber stimul8s mah prostate
I sure don't hate!
It makes me feel great!
2 be cool iz mah fate!

11:07PM - mah poem (SMALL)

Dave-id has a confeshun 2 make:
somethin personal bout himself
Therez no use bein' fake:
so: "mah dick's no bigger than an elf!"

Yah guyz its real small
its 4 inches long, YUCK
I wish I could go 2 a mall
& buy a new 1 for a buck!

Id get a a big girthy cock
sumthing 2 pleasure grls with
Now i can only pleasure mah sock
dave-id just aint god width!

But dont mock me man
Im takin fuckin classes 2 learn to do it better
Im doing everything I can
A manz sex can change like da weather!

NEway soon i will be able to gloat:
mah teacher gave me dis potiion
"it ain't da size of da boat
its da motion of da ocean!!!!!!!!"
LOL!

1:46AM - :(

I've been so sad lately. It sux!

1:58AM - hehehehe

( I'M GAY, YO! )

10:22PM - mah poem (mmf)

Last nite I had a lot of fun,
I found 2 peeps 2 kiss.
I hardly knew tha 1.
But it wuz secksual bliss!!!!!

I kissed tha lady
and I kissed tha man.
Bein' gay happened,
but it wasn't in tha plan!

Don't get me wrong,
I am still str8,
There wuz just a dong,
and I thought it was grate!

In the future
when you hear me sayin'
bros b4 hoes,
don't think i'm gayin'!

but I mite b!

8:30PM - mah pantoum (so old)

I'm riting this 1 in character.

I am so old
and I'm old
If I could jizz
I would feel cute again.

And I'm old
so mah dick don't do dances.
I would feel cute again
if u would suck it! LoL!

So mah dick don't do dances.
So shoot me.
If u would suck it, (LoL!),
I wouldn't jizz in u.

So shoot me
if I could jizz.
I wouldn't jizz in u.....
I'M SO OLD!

10:35AM - mah poem- Food

Mooshoo pork-
Love it, love it, love it!
When it getz stuck on mah fork-
Loathe it, loathe it, loathe it!
SUCKS!

6:33PM - mah poem (publik service announcement)

If ur a d00d who likes 2 get laid
u should listen 2 mah advice.
If ur not careful u mite get AID
S, or even pubic lice. LMAO!

So keep this in mind
when ur bangin' a chick,
cuz u don't want to find
sum spots on ur DICK! LOL!

Here is a list of sum things u can use:
condoms and rubbers and ziplock bags.
AIDS isn't cool so don't fall for the ruse --
Havin' safe secks is not just 4 fags.

10:28PM - mah poem (tounge kizz!!)

Tounge kisses r tha best ones
They make me have the most funz

I put mah tounge in ur little mouth
Feelz like ur mouth down south!

Except there's teeth and a tounge 2
Oh I luv tounge kissin u

Thatz an old poem I rote about Michelle. HAHA!

5:14PM - mah poem (happenis)

dave-id is a happy lad
i hardly eva feel sad or bad
once in awile i get mad
but mostly i am glad!!

1 time mah pal asked me
"how r u alwayz so happy?"
i turned 2 him with a look of glee
and said "lookat this thing from wich i pee!

"mah dick keeps me happy all day
it chases tha bluez away
it is mah sun-ray
but i only like mine y0 cuz i aint gay!!!!"

2:31AM - mah pantoum (Michelle)

I hardly think of Michelle
when I am beatin mah meat.
But it hurtz
if I do it 2 much.

When I am beatin mah meat
I 4-get mah problemz.
If I do it 2 much
I can't jizz NEmore! LoL!

I 4-get mah problems
It's like another world.
"I can't jizz NEmore! LOL!"
Though nobody believes it when I say it.

It's like another world,
but it hurtz.
Though nobody believes it when I say it:
I hardly think of Michelle.

2:08AM - mah pantoum (ladiez)

I jus learned how 2 rite these.

cunt
twat
gash
vulva

twat
beaver
vulva
cooter

beaver
void
cooter
box

void
gash
box
cunt

9:11AM - Mah Poem (Christmas)

Christmas is tha day thatz now,
Jesus wuz born 'n I'll tell u how.

There wuz this lady
Mary wuz her name.
She never had secks
and that is lame.

1 day sum 1 came
He wuz tha Holy Spirit
He sed "I'm knocking u up!
But there's no need to fear it."

But all tha peeps in tha town
were really very mad.
They said "God don't jizz in humans,
u musta humped a lad!"

No 1 believed her,
not even Joe.
He said to Mary
"R u a ho?"

Then 1 day they went 2 pay their taxes
and rode a donkey 2 tha next town.
But as luck would have it they slept in a barn
cuz there wuzn't a room 2 b foun'!

That nite wuz famous
maybe u remember
(but if u don't
it wuz the 25th of December).

And then Jesus wuz born
and sum angels did sing.
And now every1 celebrates
tha birth of tha King!!

2:30PM - mah sonnit (showR)

itz shakespearein

I luv 2 take a showeR every morn
I turn the water on and get wet
I am carefull not 2 ruin mah porn
I shower with it unless I forget
When I forget mah porn mah shower sucks!
I have nothin to look at while I soap
Sum people play with toys and rubber dux
Dave-id lookz at hot chicks he wants 2 grope!
While I shampoo I look at da hooterz
Then I lather up and I scrub mah dick!
While I condishin I see da cooterz
I wish I could give all of dem a lick!
Showerin with porn is a special treat
U look at a teat and u beat your meat!!!

4:16PM - Mah poem (girls)

I luv 2 kiss girls
I luv 2 slip them mah tounge
I luv 2 buy them pearlz
I luv when they tell me i'm hung!!

The best girls r pretty onez
The worst ones are ugly and shitty
The nice girls are sweet huns
the bad onez jus aint pretty!!

Mah exgirlfriend was a pretty chick
But she turned out 2 be mean and cheat
she sucked mah best friends dick
and said it felt neat!

So we broke up, and now i realize
even pretty girls can suck, so watch out!
Mostly hang out with tha guyz
Or sumday u will pout!!!!

10:17AM - mah poem (law!!!!)

Well itz final yo...Dave-id is goin 2 law school! I applied to the U of Phoenixxx wit mah essay about hookerz and nuns and they were real impressed by mah logickal reasoning and offered me a place in there school!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im excited y0....sports writing is DRIED UP. Here is mah poem about mah first readin assignment.

mah poem--- law

I do not understand Y u gotta be a tortfeasor
when u could just as easily be a tortefeasor
u gotta know breakin the law aint that great
u can get all locked up behind a big gate
so insteada feasin the tort, fease a cake!
u just put all the Ingredientz in a pan and bake!

So next time U wanna slander someone
and come 2 work and say they fucked a gun
Think instead about how good tortes taste
if u fease 1, ur energy will not go to waste
becuz after its made you eat and feel happy!
but when u fease a tort, u feel bad and crappy!

So fease a torte and not a tort, people
tortes are tasty, and torts aint legal!</h2>

12:33AM - mah sonnet (fite)

2night I had a big fight with Rich-hard
He said he wanted 2 not B mah friend!
Yo man I was tottally caught off guard!
I sed "y0 bro is dis really da end?
We always had such good times, u and me!"
He sed, "Dave, u r boring and u suck!
I never really liked u, can't u see?"
All I could say-- "OH fuck! Oh fuck! oh fuck!"
Yo, Its 1 thing 2 break up with a chick
girlfriends are all stupid hos anyhow
but when ur best pal thinks u r a prick--
oh man dis sux! what will Dave-id do now?
now that Rich won't be spendin time with me
Who will I jerk off while watchin tv?!?!?!?!?!


I miss mah bro man! Hes all mad cuz I jizzed on his fiancay, LOLOL

3:56PM - mah poem (moby dick)

U should want 2 hear mah tale,
itz about a big gray whale.
His name iz Moby Dick
and he'z so big he could b mah prick!

Dis guy, Ahab, wanted 2 poke him with harpoonz
cuz at sea they gotz no saloonz.
He chased him all over in hiz boat
while all tha deckhands put there wangz down hiz throat.

I jus can't continue cause I neva finished tha book
but if u like whales then u should take a look.

8:58PM - mah halloween poem

I rote it last year. It'z hear.

4:53PM - Mah Poem (1st Werdz)

Sister Todd's first werdz were "no" and "bad"
But mah first werds were "mah" and "nad!"

LOLOL!